Day one research residency @ the Clothing Store,  Carriage Works SYD Gadigal Land. 

CONTINUOS LIST OF INSPIRATION:
Kali Malone
György Ligeti

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Raining , falling hard, sound echo. 10:03pm 


Begin Day 1 now. Throughout the day I've dreamt of brass, of things that glitter and shine in light, through water, light that falls into the space like sound like the body, like the energy of that person you're saying goodbye to. The loss of finding things stumbling into the night with everything laid out in front of me. The pure chance of finding 


SOLDER. IRON. PIPES. SMOKE. ME IN MY PANTS KISSING THE INSTRUMENT I HAVE BIRTHED. SMOKING HOT 


just my pants. On fire 


I'm thinking about breath, this thing inherent to us, a life line but also a commodity. A thing I learned with others. patterns that repeat themselves, my mother breathing to mine through her body, my fathers lungs sitting in sync with mine under layers of ocean atmosphere as we dive together, patterns of the men around me in the brass band. As a child still the only young vagina owner wielding a brass mace. the breath i gave it. and the breath I took away. I exchanged it somehow for the act of moving. for the act of silence. 


Im singing in my head terribly sad tunes, tunes that make me come close to my chest. repeat again and again and again CBACBCBACBCBACBCBACBABCBABACBACBA. again and again and again until I start to cry. crying inside something cracks and falls far from me falls out of the bell and into the rain.


This instrument conjurs so much within us that we splay it with all our perceptions. I have felt the elation, anger, violence, disruption, joy, blessing that is brass but ive also felt the masculine, oppression and freedom of its image, how i see it and how i am seen with it is very different. 

Can my body be the place thoes two worlds meet, can it disarm the perception. how can i channel its energy?